she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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