it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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