Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
