Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
