just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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