I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
