your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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