At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
