Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
