Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
