TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
