Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
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