literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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