dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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