I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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