I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize