who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
