He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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