I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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