we're chasing vodka with high fives
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
not ubering you a puppy
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
