You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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