A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i came on her dog
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
This is my gift to your gina
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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