Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize