I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
