In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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