The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
