Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
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