I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
it's like iHOP with fire
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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