remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Semen is not good for contacts.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
