Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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