Who wears a wallet chain?!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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