that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
