What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
