Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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