i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize