So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize