this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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