I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
