You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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