Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
