he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
