i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
