at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
you had me at cake vodka
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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