I'm really into asian looking animals
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
