i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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