"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Randomize
