Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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