turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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