Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you told grandpa to call you daddy
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
