Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Dear god my vagina.
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