All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
