My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
