who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
