Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
