apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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