Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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