Can i not drive my cunt home
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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