My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize